so much more than a dude playing the cowbell




About

You ever have a dream so boring, that in it you were reading the About page on a middle-aged influencer's website?

 

 

 

Our Commitment to Excellents

Elusive. Gentle. Sublime. Sanguine. Words.

Smooth

Writer. Director. Father. One hundred percent lifetime field goal kicker. Entrepreneur. Actor. Cheeseburger. Large Coke. To Go.

Self-dressing

Zippers. Buttons. Nothing curbs his pure passion for putting on clothes to protect himself from the elements.

1400 on the SAT

Suck it, Bobby. You had to go to Tech.

Prepared for the future with weaponized youth

Radicalizing children since 2002. Volume discounts.

Wife. Now with butt
 

She doesn't know this was posted.

Exhibit A, Divorce Proceedings.

Three pieces of wide collared manhood

While you were reading this, he stole your girl. No take backs, champ.

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